


Always and Forever

by Shade_Nightwalker



Category: Alias Smith and Jones
Genre: Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25305028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade_Nightwalker/pseuds/Shade_Nightwalker
Summary: Heyes and Curry share feelings as deep and true as they can be, but how long will it last?
Relationships: Jed "Kid" Curry | Thaddeus Jones & Hannibal Heyes | Joshua Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Avoca for proofreading.

He was lying in the afterglow still enjoying the touch of Kid Curry’s skin. Blond curls tickled his bare chest and the rhythm of his partner's soft breathing told him he was sleeping soundly.

Heyes couldn’t find any sleep. He enjoyed the warmth of the body in his arms and the closeness of his friend. He loved the blond curls, the sinewy body, the man. He was in his heart and in his mind - the closest thing to home and the only comfort he never wanted to miss.

For years they were on the run, at first searching for some sort of family and home, when they grew older for fortune and glory, later on just for peace and a place to rest. In the end the answer was so simple – all of it was joined in the one person that was always at his side. Everything important he held in his arms tonight.

In his mind he relived the pleasures they’d shared this night and to know it wouldn’t last forever made it only more precious for him. Every stolen night could be the last one, every day possibly ending their partnership with a bullet or any other act of violence.

Even if they should stay alive against all odds, finally succeed and gain their amnesty he would lose his partner as well – to the first naive beauty, willing to stay with him and bear his children. He knew very well how much Kid Curry yearned for family and home. He’d take any opportunity to settle down and raise a dozen children with blond hair and blue eyes.

Heyes could easily imagine him sitting on the front porch with a little girl cuddled into his arms or teaching a lively boy how to ride a horse. The thought conjured a soft smile on his face. That’s what Jed Curry was originally made for – not the life on the run they were leading now.

In this future life would be no place for a screwed uncle, living nearby, throwing longing glances at the head of the family. Maybe there would be short visits now and then and unbelievable stories of a time long ago that were obviously barely true, but nothing more.

With his eyes he caressed the strong and tall body in his arms. The Kid filled him in every way and that made it even more important to let him go when the time eventually would come. But not tonight. He ran his fingers gently through the blond curls he loved so much. This night belonged to them and until the crack of dawn they only belonged to each other.


	2. Chapter 2

It turned out that the most valuable thing in life was something nobody could steal: time. And its amount and value was only known when they ran out of it.

Now it was too late.

It was over.

He knew what had happened the moment he left the stagecoach.

They had been separated for about two months and were to meet up again in Hager’s Town. For the whole journey Heyes’s heartbeat had increased with every mile that brought him closer to his partner. When he finally arrived, he wished for nothing more than his company and the privacy of a remote hotel room.

Jed was already awaiting him at the station. A young girl stood beside him, beautiful and sweet. Heyes’s heart sunk.

“I want you to meet, Mattie. Mattie, this is my partner, Joshua.”

The look of happiness and affection in his partner’s eyes said everything Heyes needed to know. It was no surprise to him that Jed had ordered separate rooms for them at the boarding house.

No noise sounded when Heyes’s heart broke, he did not even let out the smallest sign of the pain that the happy smile on his partner’s face caused him. He put on a winning smile, turned towards the thief of his very heart and welcomed her.

“Pleased to meet, you Mattie. I didn’t know this town grows such beautiful blooms. Maybe I should have come here sooner.” He bowed, raised her hand and kissed it without breaking the contact to her hazel-colored eyes. Virgin-like she blushed.

It held no comfort for him that the petite brunette was a good catch and as true and good-hearted as a girl can be. The couple told him a wild story of danger and rescue – the way the Kid had conquered the young woman’s heart. Every shy glance the pair exchanged showed him the deep affection they shared, how hopelessly they’d lost their hearts to each other.

The Kid tried to speak to him several times, but Heyes dodged him every single one. There was nothing to talk about he hadn’t already seen. He even avoided meeting his eyes because he knew he wouldn’t find what he was longing for there.

His own heart was bleeding when they walked over to the boarding house, when they had dinner together and in the still of his solitary room in the dead of the night, only accompanied by a bottle of cheap whisky. By the crack of dawn, the bottle and Heyes had become good acquaintances; one feeling as empty as the other.

Heyes tried to recall their last night together, their last touch, their last kiss. He couldn’t remember. It just had happened too casually, neither of them knowing its meaning.

All the Kid ever wanted was a family. All Heyes ever wanted was the Kid.

The next morning Heyes told his partner that he had to change their plans, that he had just dropped by on his journey to Texas. Big Mac had offered him a job – no, not both of them, just a single one – and he just wanted to see his friend before he moved away again.

Jed looked at him suspiciously and Heyes didn’t know if he bought his scam, but he didn’t care about it either. He needed his strength to keep up his cover and hide the searing pain. They’d never made it a habit to talk about feelings and he wouldn’t start right now. After all he had always known this day would come.

Without any word in private Heyes went away and he didn’t return for about a year.

-o-o-o-

Kid Curry had tried to talk to Heyes, tried to explain. But his partner had fled from him like a deer on the run.

When he watched him leaving that particular morning he was suffering, too, as he watched him walking away, waiting for him to turn around one last time, one last look, hoping for one last chance to show him what he felt for him. But he never got it.

Heyes boarded the stagecoach and a few minutes later he was gone.

Jed loved him with all of his heart, but there were other needs Heyes couldn’t fill. It was time to move on. He didn’t buy Heyes’s story, he knew much too well how it was meant, but went along with it. And so he just watched him leaving, taking away a part of his soul, hoping it wouldn’t be a goodbye forever...


	3. Chapter 3

Big Mac had been surprised to see Heyes, even more to see him alone but he enjoyed the visit of the witty ex-outlaw and was delighted to hear that his nephew ‘Thaddeus’ had finally found a good woman and a place to settle down. There was no need to explain to him it had to be kept a secret. Big Mac knew about their true identity, but never cared.

Heyes stayed for about two months in Red Rock, spreading rumors, playing poker and running little errands for his host, before he got restless again. There were still too many places where he never had been, people who he hadn’t met, pleasures and challenges which he hadn’t tried.

At first, he headed for the West Coast via El Paso and Phoenix, leaving a subtle trail for everyone looking for Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry. He met the Pacific at San Diego where he spent a few weeks before he continued his destination-less journey. He flipped a coin and decided to ride due north. Killing time, he followed the coast for almost its full length.

Heyes enjoyed his life to the fullest, drank in every day and impression as if it was his last. He had a lot of girls to warm his bed, but he never gave his heart away. When he was successful in finding a neat blonde to fit in his arms, he stayed with her ‘till the crack of dawn, savoring sweet memories while she rested breathlessly beside him and her light hair caressed his skin. He met old friends and found himself new ones, but they never became close friends. In the end he rode his trail alone.

Every evening he stood at the window when the day ended and the night fell. A cup of coffee in his hands he watched the day dying, felt the warmth leaving, stood there motionless until the darkness had come and wrapped him into her cold arms.

Heyes’s new best friend became a bottle at night. He didn’t allow himself to drift into permanent drunkenness. He just worshipped the forgetfulness the liquor promised him, and welcomed its ability to take his mind to rest.

There was nothing a man couldn’t get used to if he was given enough time. Well, nothing except one thing: Heyes couldn’t avoid calling for trouble. He enjoyed his dances with danger like he did before. Adrenaline was still his preferred drug. He didn’t care about the new edge to his encounters, knowing the Kid wasn’t with him to back him up anymore. Maybe it even increased his delight. His heart racing in his chest, the blood rushing through his veins he felt _alive_. Really alive!

Oddly enough he always received a telegraph from his former partner a short while after every close call. It always began with the question, ‘Are you alright?’. He always confirmed whether it was true or not. Not even Kid Curry would catch a telegraph lying to him.

From time to time Heyes would exchange letters with Jed. Just a few lines to let him know how well he was and to learn how happy Jed’s new life made him. Every word from Jed Curry warmed his heart and he was glad and sad at the same time to learn how well he fitted into his new life.

Heyes wasn’t surprised when he eventually received the invitation to his friend’s wedding...

-o-o-o-

Later Heyes could never recall how he endured the ceremony that took his partner away forever. Certainly, he had to be Jed’s best man. As it was expected Heyes was cheerful, witty and made eyes at the bridesmaid. He even forced himself to flirt with the young beauty almost shamelessly and nobody suspected anything improper.

Afterwards he found himself a willing distraction for the wedding-night and loved her desperately up to complete exhaustion, trying to forget the reality at least for a little while.


	4. Chapter 4

Jed startled, sat upright in his bed. It was the dead of night. He needed some time to figure out where he was: at home. With Mattie. Everything was all right.

At the same time, he _knew_ it wasn’t. His heart raced and he was scared to his bones. He had to be _there_ , but he wasn’t. He was here, here where he belonged now. It happened now and then. It happened much too often lately. Obviously, it was time to send another telegraph. He expected nothing but the usual reply ‘Everything fine. How are you?’, but at least the reply meant he was able to send it...

Silently he rose, leaving Mattie fast asleep. He wouldn’t close his eyes again tonight. He settled down with some paperwork to distract his thoughts from the nagging concern he couldn’t put to rest.

But Mattie wasn’t asleep. She always noticed when her husband grew restless and got up in the middle of the night.

Something had changed the day Joshua had left him. Something was missing, subtle but sensible. It was in the way he looked, the way his eyes wandered in the middle distance sometimes. It could happen at any time: a look, a smell, a sound and his thoughts went away to a time and place far away.

Every evening he stood at the front porch when the day ended and the night fell. A cup of coffee in his hands he watched the sun set, stood there silently until the darkness would come and the first stars appeared, his eyes trained on the brilliant shining lights too far away to reach.

Mattie never dared to disturb him in these private moments, not knowing what was on his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks became months, and months years. With increasing regularity Heyes received messages about new arriving Currys. The family grew and they all were well. Their family would live on.

Whenever Heyes visited his friend it was a time of joy and bittersweet sorrow. Watching him teaching his sons or hugging his daughters filled his heart with warmth and love he treasured for the cold and lonely days to come.

When he was honest with himself, he had to admit he still missed his partner - his company, his thoughts, his voice. And most of all he missed the warm glance of Jed Curry’s deep-blue eyes.

But Kid Curry never noticed or never cared. “You’re still not married?” he asked him one day, a happy and contented smile on his face. “Come one, Heyes, find yourself a wife and start a new life!”

‘ _What a life would that be: fucking her and thinking of you?_ ’ Heyes thought but kept it to himself. Instead he replied, “Maybe you’re right.”

Yet he never did. He continued roaming the country and grew no roots.


	6. Chapter 6

Heyes was relieved when the journey finally ended. He had been restless for days not knowing what bothered him beside the obvious – the expectation of disturbing Jed’s family-life for yet another visit.

When he reined in his horse at the front yard, Mattie already awaited him at the door.

“So, you finally made it,” she greeted him. “How are you?”

“Hi, Mattie. You look ... tired.” Heyes frowned when he noticed the dark shadows under her eyes. “What happened? Where’s Jed?”

Silence lingered. Eventually, she spoke up. “I’m sorry. You’re late, but you’re still in time.”

“In time for what ...?” he asked with an edge of fear in his voice and slid off his horse.

“He’s dying, Hannibal.”

Heyes’s world fell apart. He was unable to speak, unable to move. He tried to voice a question, but no sound left his lips.

She stared at him for long moments. Then she stepped forward, extended her hand and touched his shoulder gently.

“I’m sorry. It’s a fever. He ain’t as strong anymore as he was in his youth. There’s nothing anyone of us can do for him. His time has come. You want to see him?”

In a trance Heyes nodded. Still trying to comprehend the message he followed Mattie into the house. It couldn’t be true. Jed had been fine at his last visit. His letters never mentioned any issues. Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding. But when he entered the bedroom and saw his friend, his faint hope died away.

Heyes wasn’t able to take his eyes from the man who seemed to waste away while he was watching him. The man on the bed had barley any resemblance with the blond outlaw that still lived in Heyes’s mind. The skin was whiter than the sheets, the forehead beaded with cold sweat. His face was angular and the once sturdy body haggard. The blond hair was run through with silvery streaks.

“Please leave us alone. Just … just for a moment….” Heyes murmured. Mattie hesitated but nodded eventually. Silently she left the room.

Heyes sat down on the edge of the bed. He took a cloth from the nightstand and gently wiped the moisture off Jed’s forehead. He couldn’t help but touch him. His shoulder, his face, his damp and clammy curls.

Shaded blue eyes opened.

“Heyes…” his blond whispered barely audible.

“Kid, I’m here. Don’t scare me. Just get well again, will you?”

“Too late... ” his voice trailed off. “Take care of them ... will you...?”

“Don’t worry, Jed. I will.”

Heyes sunk his eyes in the blue ones of his friend. He noticed the deep love inside them which Jed hadn’t shown him since they had parted so long ago. His heart swelled and froze at the same time.

Jed had been the one true love of his life. How could he go on without him? Against his better judgement he took him in his arms and rested the blond head against his chest. He gently stroked his hair and his shoulders, cradling him like a child. Holding him one more time, tears beaded off his dark-brown eyes and disappeared between the blond curls.

Although they had been separated, Jed had always been there like a guiding light he didn’t need to see but sensed it anyway wherever he went.

Jedediah Curry heaved a shuddering breath, closed his eyes and died in the arms of the best friend he ever had.

The light of Heyes’s world ceased to exist...

When Mattie returned Heyes had composed himself again. He just shook his head.

“My deepest sympathies, Mattie.”


	7. Chapter 7

The funeral had come and gone. Weeks went by and Heyes still stayed with the family. Mattie was shaken to her bones, the kids still too young to be of much help, so Heyes lent her a hand for the necessary chores and daily tasks.

Mattie accepted his help, hesitating at first but still grateful. They grew to know each other better and value the other’s unobtrusive company. At sunset they sat on the front porch together, watching the sun sink, each of them lost in their own thoughts as they listened to the crickets and the soft sounds of the kids who were supposed to be asleep.

One of the days, as the sounds finally faded away, Mattie sighed. “They are a wild bunch.”

“They are fine kids, keen and lively,” Heyes replied with a brief smile on his face.

“They need a father.”

“And you need a man.”

“I just need someone to keep the vultures away. There never will be another man like him!”

“You’re right. There won’t.” Heyes eyes panned the distant horizon and fell silent.

“I’ll be there for you,” he promised her quietly after a while.

“Would you mind staying here with us? Help me take care of his legacy? The both of us who loved him?” she asked cautiously.

Alarmed, Heyes spun around to face her. “You know...?”

“I have eyes. And I’m not stupid. I saw how you looked at him when you thought nobody noticed it.”

“And you don’t mind?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “But he never betrayed me. You didn’t take anything away from me.”

No, it had been rather the other way around, but Heyes kept the thought to himself. It had been the life Jed Curry had craved for more than anything else, and he was grateful that Mattie was the one to make his dream come true.

The Kid had ended his life as a pillar of society in the arms of his family. And Heyes was grateful it had ended that way and not with a bullet in the dark years too early to live the life he was meant to lead. It was just what his partner deserved – the best man he would ever meet.

Maybe they all would get what they deserved in the end, even Heyes.

All that was left to him were dear memories, a lonely heart and his friend’s family. He earned it, for not being able to let the past go and holding on to a love that would never have been accepted by anyone. And he would carry on until his own last day.

Jed would live forever in his heart, always young, always healthy and always loved.


End file.
